ilovepeterengland.tumblr.com

Hahaha, peter. Peter so has to be grateful for this! Better show one of your spasms. HAHA. Kbye, I love Peter loads :)

i don't know why i'm still holding on. you don't seem to care anyway. you're awful. i love you.

Do I have to think of you every now & then just to feel all that pang of guilt once again?
Do I have to keep wishing I could turn back time?
Do I have to take that key & unlock this cage which holds our friendship, set it free & move on?
Can I have that hug one last time?
Can I feel that static that runs through me when you touch once more?
Can I replay those moments where my head's on your shoulder, with you telling me everything's alright?
Can I have that arm hang round my shoulders like before?
Can you make me laugh so hard I start crying again?

I miss you, I miss everything about you.
Do you miss me too?



I'm disappointed. Very very disappointed. :(



"I wish I had a huge yellow umbrella that would keep away all the rain in your life."

Unfortunately, I don't. & sadly, I'm the rain.









HIHIHII.
Hehe, I realised that during this holiday, cliques don't fucking matter. :)
I hang out with whoever I want & plus, they are awesome people! HAHAHA
I sound angry. Anyway, what I meant to say was, I realise that you break out of your own little circle you form in school, & the holidays are very unexpected.
AHYA, I don't know what I'm fucking saying. HAHA, I'm feeling bored but I have a task to do. :( I need to type long letters to 50 awesome people. Oh no D: Let the sadness begin. Hahaha. Will blog again later when I'm in the mood :)





(love)
I guess we all know that this morning something disturbing kinda happened. I hope it's forgotten cause I don't want to be reminded of it, really. I know I've been a sucky friend, & took you guys, my friends, for granted.
During that period of time when I realised that I've had many friends that have walked out of my life, when I felt that I had nobody, when I was sitting on my 18th floor window, with my legs dangling out the window, I turned to you people. You said that you were there, & I could just yell it out to you. An instant feeling of warmness just flooded my heart knowing I had someone there, caring about me. The whole feeling of loneliness just felt dumb to me. Like, I'm only looking at a couple of people who have left my life. I didn't realise there were many others like you still here, beside me, all ready to lend me a shoulder whenever I need em.
Thanks for telling me to dry up my tears & stop hurting myself. Always reminding me that y'all're here for me. :D

Marz, we've been through rough times & I still don't know the real you. Sometimes I feel like you want to shoot me in the head but at other times I feel like our friendship can actually last forever. I don't blame you for anything/everything that went wrong, but just want to say, you're like an onion with many skins. I don't think anyone have known your real self, but it's alright, I love you alott still :)

Belle, I have been such a sucky friend towards you. I don't want to think about it too much but I promise you, I'll be the one here for you to yell at whenever you want to. You're a true friend. I'm really sorry & I love you so much. :)

Illzz, you're always making me think before doing anything impulsive. I can always pour out to you and you can make me think in another perspective, making me feel real dumb then. I hope we can hang out sometime soon caus I miss you. Haha, I love you loads. :)

Peter pan, Idk whether you still look at me as a friend, but all I wanna say is, thank you very much. You're a caring person & you make me think alot. Hahaha, in one way or another. Thank you for always being there when I'm feeling shitty, thanks for making this whole friendship memorable in a special way. About the other day, Idk what made you say all that but I would say sorry if I actually know what for. Whatever it is, thank you for everyth, especially that nice letter & i love you :)

 I think I can sleep in peace tonight, hee. I miss so many people. I miss my cousins, I miss my schoolmates, I miss myself. Somehow I think I lost myself. I don't really know who I am already. People say I'm fake, am I really? :( I want to change for the better, I promise. But I don't know why/how. Sigh.




Have been having painful tummyaches these few days, god dammit.
I'm not as suicidal anymore & I'm happier now. :)
I enjoy all of my friends' company. Love hanging out with you guys.
I realise many people actually read my blog but are just simply lazy they don't actually bother tagging. So uh yeah, mystery of who's stalking me remains. Hahaha

I think James is hot as a dude & pretty as a chick. HAHA that came out wrong.
Whatever.
Enjoy your week, pictachios! :)